Why you should NOT be excited about the NBA draft.

I'm gonna go ahead and put it out there from the get-go.  I am not a casual NBA fan.  In fact, this last season, while watching Toronto play some team like Milwaukee, my girlfriend had the audacity to enter the room and ask, "Why are you even watching those teams?"  After shaking my head, I responded, "Because it's the NBA."  

The lockout just about killed me.  I remember being so excited for the season tip-off on Christmas day. Weirdly, it felt like opening a holiday gift with a tag from David Stern.  An all-day gift I enjoyed very much watching with my younger brothers and getting blackout drunk in the process.  A Merry Christmas indeed.

Tonight is the NBA draft.  Supposedly one of the greatest days for fans of specific teams.  In theory, you can acquire that young talented player that can push your team, your city, and your heart into another stratosphere.

I'll never forget when I was at my cousin's house in 2005 awaiting the selection of New Orleans.  He and I were literally standing up, nearing anxiety.  Bogut was (sadly) the clear cut favorite for overall number one, but after that things were a little dicey.  Marvin Williams, Deron Williams, Chris Paul, and Raymond Felton were the most likely candidates for N.O. at number 4.  I felt great overall because I knew that my team was going to get (what I thought at the time) would be a pretty good player, maybe not an all-star caliber player, but a for-sure starter.  Marvin Williams went number 2 and I felt good.  Everything was going to plan.  As we awaited the next pick, my cousin and I talked about what we liked and didn't like about the point guards.  I confessed I hadn't seen much of Derron Williams playing in the Big Ten (Illinois).  Due to the guaranteed tv time that UNC gets, I was familiar with Raymond Felton.  I admired his quickness.  But that was it.  At the time, I thought he was a reach at four and still'd be a reach at twenty-four.  Too many turnovers, not a good jump shooter, lack of basketball IQ, always seemingly out-of-control, etc.  But Chris Paul was special.  Yes, even at college.  Living in the south we got a lot of ACC play, and I remember watching the diminutive Paul dominate that league, but I couldn't help but wonder if his size would be a problem at the next level.

My cousin REALLY wanted Paul, and I trusted his instincts so I pulled for that pick.  Derron Williams went number 3, Paul went 4, and Felton went 5.  Bing bang boom, Stern rattled off the names of 3 PG's.

From my cousins' reaction, I thought he had won the Louisiana state PowerBall lottery.  There may have even been tears.  The point is: HE KNEW HE HAD SOMETHING SPECIAL THAT DAY.  In his gut.  In his bones.  He knew that the New Orleans Hornets franchise was now a playoff caliber team with the addition of a single player.  Because this player was an all-star. A franchise and city-economy changer.

The passionate NBA lover inside me wants to be that excited all the time about the draft.  That's what it's all about.  And while obviously if you have the last pick in the second round, your expectations are in check, but what about those teams in the lottery?  SHOULDN'T THEY RIGHTFULLY HAVE INSANE EXPECTATIONS?!?  These kids are supposed to change everything.  That's why they're being pick so high, right?  These players are supposed to not just be the best in America but the best in the world.

Here is the fact of the matter: Picks 1 through 5 are (in theory) supposed to be INCREDIBLE.  And here's another fact: since 2000 this has never happened.  NEVER.  The closest we've ever had was that 2003 almost popped off that cork.

Let me be as clear as possible: overall, the NBA draft is a complete joke.  Since we have the genius that is hindsight, we have the ability to see where guys were picked and how they faired.  Close your eyes if you're not ready for some tough reality.

In 2000, apparently the best five players in the draftable world were KMart, Stromile Swift, Darius Miles, Marcus Fizer, and Mike Miller.  Great start.

In 2001, apparently the best five players available were KWAME BROWN, Tyson Chandler, Pau Gasol, Eddy Curry, and J Rich.  40% of these guys ended up being COMPLETELY WORTHLESS and rained down torrential financial constraints on their franchises.  Awesome.

In 2002, someone named Nickoloz Tskitishvilli was drafted at number five to attempt and play center for the Denver Nuggets.  NUMBER FIVE!?????  Who is this person?

In 2003, the Basketball Gods opened their hearts and blessed the land with what is WITHOUT A DOUBT, the greatest draft the NBA has ever had.  In the top five we were all blessed with LeBron, Melo, Bosh, and Wade.  Unfortunately this top five is also most known for the Darko fiasco.  Ironically 3 of these top 5 now play on the same team and just won a championship together.  Seems like pretty solid logic to me: put the best players from the best draft year ever on the same team.  What do you get?  Champions.

In, 2004, we were gifted with Dwight Howard at one overall.  Looking back now, I definitely thought that scrawny high school kid from Atlanta might be okay.  But not the best in his position.

In 2005, see above for former reference.  Looking back, Bogut at 1?  Marvin Williams at 2!!!???  Damn.

2006 makes me want to punch a nice old lady right in the face.  In order: Bargnani, Aldrige, Adam fucking Morrison, Tyrus Thomas, and Sheldon Williams were your top 5.  Honest to God, what is wrong with these GM's?  And the excuse of "Well this was just a bad draft class" is dead wrong.  The GM's didn't do their job and find the best possible talent because Rudy Gay was at 8 and Rajon Rondo was at 21.  These are guys you can build a franchise around.  Ask Tornoto how building around Bargnani has gone.

2007 yielded Oden, Durant, Horford, Conley, and Jeff Green, respectively.  I won't go into the whole Oden thing, but it's more sad and humiliating than enlightening.  Obviously the misfortune of Portland became the franchise-changing grace that would be Kevin Durant in Seattle/OKC.  All jokes aside, how great of a professional basketball Jeff Green is! 

2008, really not bad for once; basketball fans were due.  Rose, Beasley, Mayo, Westbrook, Love. 

2009, Griffin, Thabeet, Harden, Tyreke Evans, Ricky Rubio.  The Clippers finally hit with a top pick.

2010, Wall, Evan Turner, Derrick Favors, Wesley Johnson, DeMarcus Cousins.  I asked myself then, and I'm still asking now... "Who the fuck is Wesley Johnson?"

If the draft shows us anything, it's that it's really REALLY hard to assess who will pan out and who won't.  And overall I would agree.  But shouldn't at least the top five be insanely awesome?  The GM's of the league literally cannot assess the talents of only five guys to determine who's elite?  Or hell, even determine who the single most greatest player draftable is at that time?

As a fan of a team who picks in the top 3 or even the top 5, I have a right as a supporter of that team for that GM to draft an insane talent for years to come.  The simple fact that history shows this happens rarely sucks out all the life from the awesome party that should be the NBA draft.  For Christ's sake, what's 2003 known for more...?  LeBron, Bosh, Melo, and Wade or fuckin' Darko Milicic?

As you watch the NBA draft tonight, remember not to get your hopes up.  Unless you're New Orleans who have a sure thing... right?  RIGHT?!?


#mmjb

The Mirage that is the College Football Playoffs

What a bittersweet day in sports.  The NCAA has announced that there will be a four team college football playoff.  While the words "playoff" and " college football" when combined force cream in my pants, it's all ultimately unsatisfying.

To the committee, congrats on almost getting it right.  College football had a chance to fix what was without a doubt the worst computer ranking system on the planet.  But no... instead of actually doing justice and making things right - a real legitimate chance for a playoff - the committee kept all the power in their hands. 

If you thought the computer ranking was bad, wait til you see how bad these knuckleheads mess this up.  Think about it: by only allowing four teams, you're essentially picking the top four teams from the top four conferences.  Who's that?  Hmm, let's see: if USC or Oregon wins the PAC 10 (refusal to acknowledge the term PAC-12) then boom, they're in.  If Michigan or Ohio State wins the Big Ten then boom, they're in.   And then...?!  What's going to happen when the SEC tournament comes around?  Obviously LSU and Alabama can't play each other due to both being in the SEC western division.  So what then?  Let's say both of these teams are ranked #1 and #2 respectively when they meet.  Does that mean on November 3rd when the Tide rolls into Baton Rouge that it's for all the marbles?  Is the committee going to take two teams OUT OF FOUR from the same conference?  Not a chance.  Even though these are clearly the best two teams?  And then, what if Georgia somehow wins the SEC east, plays either LSU or Alabama, and beats them?  Because Georgia (by definition) won the SEC does that mean they have an argument to be in the top four?!?!  #ridiculous

What's going to happen to that final spot?  What about the likes of Oklahoma, Oklahoma State, Texas, Kansas State, Nebraska, & Wisconsin?  Will the Big Twelve winner be considered a shoe-in?

And ACC fans... yeah right and good luck.  You could win every game and possibly not get in to the top four brotherhood.  Clemson, Virginia Tech, Miami, & Florida State?  Sorry.  Is 12-0 Clemson better than 11-1 Alabama with a loss to LSU?  Maybe... maybe not.  The point is that we'll never know because someone on the committee thinks that they know.  And that's what matters right....? Right!?

Isn't the whole point of playoffs to give teams with great regular season records a chance to compete for the big kahuna?  Because that's not happening here.  Do you think undefeated Boise State will be in that top four?

And as much as it pains me to say, you know Notre Dame will be in the conversation just because they're Notre Dame. Don't even get me started about this.  When they get absolutely thrashed in a bloodbath by USC, some idiots out there will still argue that they're better than say a Florida State or a Georgia or maybe a one-loss Alabama or LSU.  It's all too cringe-worthy.  Committees love the Irish.  But when was the last time they did ANYTHING?  Who is the last great Notre Dame pro?  Jimmy Clausen?  Dear God.

It's all one of the darkest, worst jokes I've ever seen in all of sports and in fact, the word mirage comes to mind.  Webster defines the word mirage as "something that appears real but is not".  Sounds pretty accurate to me.  In theory, we all like the word "playoff" but there is no real playoff happening here.  Whether it's a committee or a computer or a talisman, FOUR TEAMS IS NOT ENOUGH.  Of course, at some point you have to pick a number of teams and go with it.  And of course those last teams not in will scream and rant and throw temper tantrums

So what's the number? 10.  If you can make the top ten of any poll - AP, Coach's, BCS, RPI, whatever, just pick one - you deserve a chance.  This would only take four weeks to complete and allows the mid-major to get in.  I'll never forget in 1998, when Tulane, headed by Shaun King, went 12-0 and ended the season ranked No. 7, and thinking, "Wouldn't it be fun to see how far they can go..."  A 10 team playoff gives college fans that wet dream.  Check it out: http://www.printyourbrackets.com/10teamsingleelimination.html    Teams 10, 9, 8, 7 duke it out first, while everyone else watches, then those two winners play numbers one and two and so on til we have a winner.  It's so simple.  Incorporate the playoff games into the already pre-contracted bowl games.  Everyone benefits from this.  The mid major gets a big check and an increased viewership.  Right now, I couldn't give a rip about the J.P Morgan Gingerbread Bowl, but if you tell me that whoever wins that game takes on USC or LSU or Alabama next, you're damn right I wanna see how they match up.  That's right... I'm now watching the J.P. Morgan Gingerbread Bowl. 

Like riding in a stretch-Hyandai limo.  Like going on a date with a hand model.  Like going in just tip deep.  Yes, you're riding a limo.  Yes, you're dating a model.  Yes, you're technically inside.  BUT SO WHAT?!?  If you're not going to do it right, then what's the point?  I want the real thing.  Not a mirage.

#mmjb